OnHiatus.com > Quote Collection: Current Seattle time is: 01:49:52, 8/25/2019
Five Random Quotes
Last modified: Thursday, January 24, 2013.
This is the Five Hundred Ten Thousand Ninety Third view since 02/07/97.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
       --Woody Allen, [47/1855]
In theory, theory is the same as reality. In reality it's not.
       --Anonymous, [1766/1855]
Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to celebrate it the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around stringing cranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on "The Waltons". Well, you can forget it. If everybody pulled that kind of subversive stunt, the economy would collapse overnight. The government would have to intervene: it would form a cabinet-level Department of Holiday Gift-Giving, which would spend billions and billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls and electronic games, which it would drop on the populace from Air Force jets, killing and maiming thousands. So, for the good of the nation, you should go along with the Holiday Program. This means you should get a large sum of money and go to a mall.
       --Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide [179/1855]
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
       --Pope John Paul I, [791/1855]
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards -- only physics and war hold him in check. And also the wife who wants him home by five, of course.
       --Encyclopedia Apocryphia, 1990 edition [594/1855]
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